Upside to Culture Stress: Part Two

In my previous post I talked about how Culture Stress is like death by a thousand small cuts because you miss everything known and familiar. But how even though that's kind of a huge bummer, it's all good because God is more than enough and He gives you His strength to run on. So if Culture Stress can have an upside, falling even more in love with Jesus is one of them. However, Culture Stress has one more upside and that is falling in love with your hometown. That's right. IN LOVE, with your hometown.

My hometown is Carthage, Missouri. Population 14,502 and I know almost every single one of them and I used to hate that fact. But now, after graduating high school, packing my bags, and moving all the way on the other side of the world, I miss it. In fact, I miss almost everything I used to dislike. So here it is, my new favorite things of my hometown. Along with some of my old favorite things:

1. My Entire Town
Yes, I love and miss all 14,502 people from Carthage, Missouri. Even the people I promised myself I would never miss, I really miss. Amazing how growing up does that to you. But besides the people, I miss the feeling of Carthage. The small-town-everyone-knows-everyone feeling.





2. Pancake Hut
Pancake Hut, my very first real job where I worked as a waitress and fell in love will all my regular customers. Where one would walk in and I already had their food and drink on the table. Where they kept me up to date on the latest news in town. Where I knew I would be missed when I moved. Where I watched the Maury Show with my coworker during the slow shifts. Yeah, I really miss that place. If you stop in, make sure to order the Triple Decker Club Sandwich! It's the best.

 

 

3. Route 66 Drive-In
I had no idea how badly I took for granted the fact that Carthage is one out of 364 in the entire United States! How blessed I was to be within ten minutes from it. Thank you, Lord!













4. Home of the Carthage Tigers

If you would have told me ten months ago that I would miss high school, I would never have believed you. But honestly, I really miss it. I miss the football games, the spirit week, the homework, the expectations being so clearly laid out, all of that jazz. Even though my experience wasn't the greatest, I still really miss it. Shocking, huh?




5. My Home.
Seriously, I miss my house. I miss kicking my shoes off in the mud room and walking in barefoot. I miss the smell of whatever my mom was cooking. I miss the dogs that run to greet me at the door. I miss my dad coming home and getting to see him and hearing about how good (or bad) that day went. I miss the lack of greenery because my mom can't remember to water plants. I miss the messy lived in look of our home. I just really miss our home.

Upside of Culture Stress: Part One

I once heard that Culture Stress is like death by a thousand cuts. I'm here to tell you that, that is so incredibly true. It's not any one thing that does you in, it's a thousand little things. Like there isn't a Walmart, I have to speak an unfamiliar language, the food isn't quite my thing, I can't drive, I miss my parents, and so many other things.



Fried Rice

I keep reminding myself that God is more than enough for me, and when I feel like I can't run on my own strength, I'm reminded I'm supposed to run on His. He specifically said MORE. So I will hold on to that "more" part when I feel like I can't eat another spoonful of rice, or nobody understands why I'm crying about chipped nail polish. (Seriously, I cried over chipped nail polish. Culture Stress makes you emotional, people.) Sometimes holding onto the hope of Jesus is all you can do, and then remember it's all you need. Thank you, Lord, that you listen to my whines and cries even when it's about toe nail polish and you love me every second of it.

After crying about the toe polish thing, my sweet
Sister-in-Law gave me some of hers :)

But one of the two upsides of Culture Stress is that it totally makes you fall in love with Jesus more and more. He continually shows me He's right there with me. He continually gives me His strength. When I'm sick and tired of walking everywhere, he meets me on my long walks and lets me see beautiful sights and things. When I really don't want to go serve somewhere, he tells me to get up, get over myself, and do what I came here to do and rewards me for my obedience. He's so good. Even when I cry and tell Him I want to go home, He always encourages me and uplifts me. He understands me better than I understand myself. It's amazing how he transformed my life and I can't help but praise and thank him for every minute he gives me. Yeah, he's basically just really good.

The Satisfier of my Soul

As I've written about before, high school was a big let down for me.

I had it planned out exactly how it should be. (In hindsight, there is very heavy emphasis on the "should be" part.) You should have your career picked out when your a Freshman, take classes for it while juggling a social life, boyfriend, family, etc.

I knew in junior high that high school would be my thing, it would rock, be perfect, and satisfy me, and when I mention "satisfy," I'm talking about feeling great. Feeling totally satisfied. Content. Peaceful. Joyful. Full. Just totally satisfied.

But high school didn't satisfy. I couldn't pick a career at fifteen years old. I couldn't get straight A's. I couldn't get that perfect boyfriend. And family life is just never "perfect." So with that crushing unsatisfaction on my heart, I turned to boys that did not treat me well. When the boys didn't satisfy me, I turned to drinking. when drinking didn't satisfy me, I turned to doing drugs. And when drugs didn't satisfy me, I turned to doing all of it. But, that didn't satisfy me either.

However, I found Jesus. I was at McDonald's on my way to a party and this guy a few years older than me was there. He started talking to me and asked me what my plans were for that night. When I told him about the party he said, "Ohhh... Wow. Is that really where you want to be if Jesus comes back tonight?" And I'm sure you can imagine the reply I had for him.

I still went to the party, but I didn't drink, or sleep with someone, or smoke. Instead I thought hard about what he said. Then I made the decision to let Jesus love me and to start following Him.

He met me where I was and taught me that only in Him may I find satisfaction. And let me tell you, honestly, that is a lesson I am still learning two years later. I thought, graduating high school would bring me satisfaction, but it didn't. I thought getting my first real job would give me satifaction, but it didn't. I thought moving to Thailand would bring me satisfaction, but it doesn't.

Don't get me wrong, Thailand is wonderful and I really truly love it. I absolutely do. However, just being in Thailand doesn't give me satisfaction. It's just a country. It's God that supplies the satisfaction. Because in reality, things just can't satisfy you. Moving can't, a job can't, experiences can't, and graduating can't. Only God can. And that, my dear friends, is the biggest thing I have learned in Thailand. God has and is giving me satisfaction. He's showing me once and for all that he alone is the one and only person who can fully satisfy me.

He's the only one who loves me fully and radically.
Who wants so much for me.
Who knows how many hairs are on my head.
Who leads me to green pastures.
Who fills my cup to overflowing.
Who is my shepherd.
Who has knit me together in my mother's womb.
Had me written in the book of life before the foundation of the world.
Who fills my head with truth.
Who pulled me out of the pit and set my feet upon the rock.
Who leads me beside still waters.
And so, so much more.
God is so good. So, so good.

So, whenever the world tells us that earthly things will satisfy us, like high school, boys, drinking, drugs, a car, house, moving, whatever; Let us always remember that it is God alone who is the satisfier of our souls. Praise be to God.

"And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." (Isaiah 58:11)

An Ode to My Flashlight

I opened my Christmas package from my Mom the other night. The last gift I opened was a flashlight. When I saw it I wondered what I was going to do with it. But I quickly realized that I have no idea how I got along without it. I hear a funny noise, out comes my Flashlight. I need to write something really quick, out comes my Flashlight. I need to go to the kitchen in the dark, out comes my flashlight. I love it. Seriously the best gift ever. So I decided to write a poem for it. (Yes, I know this is silly.)


An ode to my flashlight
That sit's upon my nightstand.

A Christmas gift I thought as silly
That turned out to be quite lovely.

Night upon night as my roommate slumbers,
I no longer stub my toes,

Rifle through papers,
Or fall on my face in the dark.

I find things with ease,
With my Flashlight, life's a breeze
.
I have but one thing to say, to the buyer of this gift.
"Thank you, Dear Mama!"
You knew just what to get!

I Am Iron Man (Or Iron Maiden)

Over these last few days, I have been spending my down time immersed in Marvel's superhero movies, specifically Iron Man and Spider Man. As I'm watching them, my internal commentary is, "Oh wow! Wouldn't it be cool to be Iron Man?" And embarrassingly enough, if I'm home alone, I will extend my arm and "zap" things in my way. Then I realize that I am like Iron Man. Totally cool, right?

Tony Stark was hurt badly in an explosion and the only way to be saved was to have a new power source implanted where his heart was. That's totally me! I was in some serious pain before I came to know Jesus. However, God inserted a new power source inside of my body to give me life, and that was the Holy Spirit. Therefore, I am Iron Man.

Tony Stark also had to redesign his armor several times because he kept getting so banged up. That's me as well. During all the attacks I have with the enemy, I continually have to ask God to rebuild me. To make me stronger, wiser, and better to fight in this battle that goes on every day! Therefore, I am Iron Man.

Iron Man gets beat up pretty often, but the cool thing is that he always wins. In all good superhero movies, the good guy always wins. Always. I know I get beat up. I end my day with some pretty gnarly war wounds, but I know I always end the day a victor because of the power source that lives within me. Therefore, I am Iron Man.

Being in a relationship with the one true God never ceases to totally rock my world, and I pray that today He rocks yours.

I Can't Even Make Carrot Cake

What are holidays like for people living overseas?

That was my question as my wonderful Sister-In-Law told me we were having a bunch of friends over to celebrate Thanksgiving and she was inlisting my help for holiday cooking. I signed up to make a gluten free Carrot Cake that I've made before that went over well with our family. However, making a Carrot Cake overseas is actually QUITE a process. You have to make everything from scratch, even the applesause that goes into it, since cake mixes are pretty expensive here. But as I began cooking, I quickly learned that God was teaching me a wonderful lesson.

The lesson began with me walking the twenty minutes in the Thailand heat to the import grocery store to buy the cream cheese for the frosting, only to get all the way home and realizing I purchased processed CHEDAR cheese. Praise the Lord that my sweet brother drove me to buy cream cheese the second way.

As the lesson continued, I started the cutting, pealing, and grating process of the carrots as my applesause was simmering, my three sweet nephews and one beautiful niece start talking to me and helping me. Which caused me to forget totally about the applesause until the smell of burnt sugar filled our pourch. I burnt the applesause. I knew it was bad when the littlest of my nephews, who is three and loves apples, wouldn't eat it. I had to throw it all away. Alright, I thought. So it wouldn't be as moist, that's okay, isn't it?

But the biggest part of my lesson, was using the rice flour instead of the normal kind, which is what makes the cake Gluten-Free. You see, the rice flour wasn't rice flour. It was corn starch. Everything in our house is labled in Thai, so that's a little inconvienent for me because rice flour and cornstarch look exactly the same.

When the cake came out of the oven deflated in the middle and dryer than a bone, I went in my room and bawled my head off. I cried to the Lord, "Jesus! I can't even make carrot cake without you!" He taught me over this Thanksgiving holiday that I need Him for everything. For breathing, joy, purpose, direction, and yes, even baking a Carrot Cake. He showed me He is always with me. What a sweet lesson to learn! And although my "Gluten-Free Carrot 'Bars'" (named by my sweet Sister-In-Law and friend A.) were super dry, the whole pan got eaten and it turned out to be a very sweet day.

I'm a Sunday School Teacher, That's Who I Am!

I am a Sunday School teacher, that's who I am.

Here there are no projectors showing cute kids worship videos, no cute decorations hanging on the walls, no table and chairs, no unlimited supply of crayons, and no toys. But what we do have is four walls, a whiteboard, a tile floor with bits and pieces of carpet glue that wouldn't come off after hours of scraping it with paint thinner, and a God who meets us where we're at and adores how we worship Him there.

He adores the lessons we share, He adores how the kids teach me more than I teach them, He adores prayers like, "Father, let our church grow. Nothing is impossible with you." from a seven year old boy, or ones like, "Jesus, help me quit biting my sister. Thanks! Amen." from a four year old boy. He loves the way we lay hands on each other and pray for one another. He loves the way the kids memorize the verse from that week. And most of all He loves all the children that meet together there.



Our floor before I spent 9 hours on my knees breathing paint thinner scraping the glue off.
Praise God for the friends that helped me!

My super awesome whiteboard with sliding panels. I love it.

It's okay that we have no chairs. It's okay there is no table. It's okay there are no decorations on the walls. It's okay that all we do is pray, worship, and learn. Because that's the most important thing. I love being a Sunday School teacher.